But sometimes it's a pain in the ass to put out food when impromptu partying happens. You want to focus on your guests, make sure the bathroom is clean, and hide any latent Popular Science magazines. But, you also don't want to bring out that tired-ass chips and salsa routine.
Here's your rescue. Basically, lay out some prosciutto so it becomes a big sheet o'meat. Slather it with cream cheese. Stir some stuff around in a pan, then pour that stuff onto the cream cheese. Roll and serve with fancy crackers. You're welcome. I'll have a gin and tonic with extra lime, please.
1 cup sliced shiitake mushrooms (may substitute crimini or portabella if that's all you have, but the shiitakes give this dish the umami connection that brings it all together)
1 tablespoon butter
Salt and pepper to taste
2 tablespoons sriracha
6 slices prosciutto
6 ounces cream cheese, softened (if you want to get crazy, use burrata)
1 cup whole wheat cracker crumbs
½ cup green onions, chopped
⅔ cup purple cabbage, shredded
Whole wheat crackers for serving
Saute mushrooms, butter, salt and pepper on medium high heat in a medium skillet, stirring often, until edges are browned, about 5 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in the sriracha. Set aside to cool.
Place prosciutto slices with the short ends closest to you on a flat work surface and overlap sides to make one large piece of prosciutto. Spread prosciutto with the cream cheese, stopping about 2 inches from the edge farthest away from you.
Cover cream cheese with whole wheat cracker crumbs, pressing down gently. Sprinkle evenly with the mushrooms, onions and cabbage. Lift up the closer edge of the prosciutto and gently roll away from you. Place roll seam-side down on a serving platter and surround with the remaining crackers. Serve.